We humans have a propensity for labeling ourselves, defining ourselves to the world, either with words or by decorating our bodies. This is who I am. This is who I want you to see. Some do it with jewelry, makeup, hairstyles, or clothing. More and more people are decorating their bodies with piercings and tattoos. How we choose and what we choose to adorn ourselves with is deeply personal and significant.

Even though this is a crow, not a raven, I’d like to say never say nevermore. In the past, I’ve said I would never get a tattoo. I’m not sure what changed in me, but something shifted and I now have a crow tattoo. I don’t know how deep this shift goes, that is something I’m still exploring, but at the very least, I wanted to honor Crow. She has been an excellent guide for me over the years.

Crow’s energy has been working in my life for a long time. Crow is the Keeper of Sacred Law. She is an omen of change. I’ve learned to embrace change. Crow keeps me from being stuck.

The process was surprisingly profound in body, mind, and spirit. When Jason Profant, the talented artist who did my tattoo at Time and Tide Tattoo, asked me if this was my first tattoo, I think my answer shocked him. I said it was the first one I had gotten willingly. He looked at me as if I meant that there was a marauding band of tattoo artists who went around tattooing people against their will. I let him hang for a minute…

I have a permanent set of blue dots that outline the calibrations for the block they made to pinpoint the area that would be radiated when I had breast cancer thirteen years ago. I’m told the dots they do today are no longer permanent. So, in actuality, the crow is my second tattoo. Maybe because of my first experience of being permanently marked was linked to cancer, this tattoo had even more significance for me. It was my decision, my symbol, experienced with a friend in my choice of place and time.

My crow tattoo is still healing. I’m always surprised when I look down and see it. It still feels new and I don’t think I’ve assimilated it as a part of me like the blue dots have become; it takes time. I like knowing that Crow will always be with me. Maybe comfort was what I was looking for.

Rebekah Spivey for The Poplar Grove Muse